TONIGHT WE COME FULL CIRCLE.

mnd

I’m always super-conscious of how whenever I go out into the world, whenever I get involved in a relationship, my idea of who I think I am utterly collides with the reality of who I actually am. And I continue to go out even though who I am always comes up short. I always prove myself to be less generous, less charming, less considerate, not as bold or energetic or intelligent or courageous as I imagined in my solitude. And I’m always being insulted, or snubbed, or disappointed. And I’m never in my pyjamas.

And yet, in some way, maybe this is better. Each of us in this room could suffer the pangs of withdrawal and gain the serenity of the non-smoker. We could be demigods in our little castles, all alone, but perhaps, at heart, none of us wants that. Maybe the only cure for self-confidence and courage is humility. Maybe we go out in order to fall short . . . because we want to learn how to be good at being people . . . and moreover, because we want to be people

Sheila Heti

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The work of the eyes is done. Go now and do the heart-work on the images imprisoned within you.

Rainer Maria Rilke

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We comfort ourselves by reliving memories of protection. Something closed must retain our memories, while leaving them their original value as images. Memories of the outside world will never have the same tonality as those of home and, by recalling these memories, we add to our store of dreams; we are never real historians, but always near poets, and our emotion is perhaps nothing but an expression of a poetry that was lost.”

 Bachelard, The Poetics of Space

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The girls in California were probably prettier in a standard sense than the New York girls–blonder and in better health, I guess; but I still preferred the way the girls in New York looked–stranger and more neurotic (a girl always looked more beautiful and fragile when she was about to have a nervous breakdown).

To Andy:

Happy Birthday!

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New York is the thing that seduced me.
New York is the thing that formed me.
New York is the thing that deformed me.
New York is the thing that perverted me.
New York is the thing that converted me.
And New York is the thing that I love too.

Patti Smith

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the end of a lovely weekend /start to a lovely week.

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With my best friend
We found ourselves in bed
When I woke up he was gone

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15. Do ‘unacceptable’ things to your hair. Dye it. Dread it. Shave only the left side of your head and give a shit if it grows back in a flattering manner (hint: it won’t). There’s no time but now.

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